In what I make, I see my life mirrored. My creativity shows me what is happening in my head, consciously and unconsciously. In color, shape and material use.

I know that if I put a stop to my imagination for a period of time and I’m hardly creative, I’m going to suck myself off. That I’m going to get in my way. Get cranky and angry at myself.

Because creativity, “making something,” that’s an outlet for me. It gives me peace and provides relaxation. And it gives a lot of insight.

Creativity is an important part of my life

I can measure exactly how I’m doing. How I feel at that moment. Which appeals to me and is against me. Which makes me happy and what I’m sad or angry about.

My way of working, my creativity, shows me how I feel about myself. What my life is really about. What’s going on inside me. Where I stand in the world and how I deal with it. And whether or not I’m comfortable in my own skin.

Know what’s good for me, but not do it anyway

However, I have not been creative several times over the past decades. Because then there was something that made me not have the time and space for it, that’s how I told myself. Whereas I know how good it is for me when I do make something with my hands.

Knowing, but not doing it anyway, that creative tension. That’s the way it is sometimes. Apparently. Unfortunately.

And that’s me…

I make a decision: it really has to be different!

Now over a year ago I felt that this was no longer possible and that things really had to be different.

So make sure there’s creativity back in my life. Very simple, by making other choices. And so I make an informed decision: “I’m going to investigate what I want.””

The following questions are extremely helpful to me in this process.

What makes me happy?
What’s going to give me energy?
What do I like and love to do?
What is relaxing?
What can I challenge myself with over and over again?
How can I inspire myself and others?
What can I do on my own, but is also fun to do with others?
What can I do in between, but also experience big projects?

Okay, I did “what.”

Let me be honest. I’ve been painting and sculpting for a few years. However, I stopped doing that, because every time I was painting or sculpting I missed something. Although I didn’t know what that was at the time, having discovered my love of wool, spinning and weaving since last year, I understand better what was missing until then.

Looking back on the period I painted, I realize that my abstract paintings were like my life back then: big (great), compelling, screaming for attention and often not understanding. It’s been intense for years…

The same goes for sculpture. Those were years when I was in bad use. I was often lonely and my life was hard and chilly. Cold. Like stone…

That’s why I quit because my shoulder bothered me because of all that chopping. Not surprising, because that hard work was what I always did: very good and above all very hard to do my best to get the best out of everything. Perfectionist. Go to extremes. And above all being very strict with myself. So it’s a good thing I stopped!

It may be nice and soft

I don’t have to look for a new hobby for a long time. And certainly not far, because I see my new inspiration every day when I look outside: the sheep of the neighbor, who walk behind our garden in the pasture.

And with that begins my wool adventure…

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